Dads Against the Divorce Industry
DA*DI is devoted to reinstating the societal valuation of Marriage and the traditional, nuclear American Family, with particular emphasis on the essential role of FATHERS.
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Cosmo: Two-thirds of woman would prefer quality of full-time home life.
(Excerpted from the Luce 2000 Conservative Leadership Seminar)
"I think the criticism of conservative voices – not just conservative ideologues, not just conservative politicians – the interior conservative voice in all of us is being heard now after three decades of radical feminism that was tyrannizing men and women on the college campus.
In a recent coulmn I wrote about a woman named Erica. It was interesting because I was talking about a woman named Erica, age 23, who was on the fast track to be a banker. She was out of college and she was moving up in the world of investment banking. And all of a sudden she had a retro-great idea. She said ‘I don’t want to move up this fast track. I want to marry that cute guy in the cubicle down the hallway!'
And this sounds like shades of Bridget Jones. The difference is Bridget Jones, who sits here and fanaticizes about when to get married instead of being in front of a dingy office, is fiction and Erica is real. Erica is a 23-year-old woman who was on the fast track.
So, where did this come from? Where did this woman come from? I thought people would think someone like Phyllis Schlafly who would always find such a heresy must’ve drummed her up or she was buried in some pages of some staunchly family values magazine. But, no. Erica was nestled in the pages of the June 2000 Cosmopolitan in a feature called 'Housewife Wannabes.' There were all kinds of other women in this article who spoke and suggested this same kind of attitude.
What’s going on here?
These women were discovered by a marketing firm in New York called "Youth Intelligence." Youth Intelligence polled three thousand single and married women between the ages of 18 and 34. Sixty-eight percent said they didn’t have to work and if they could afford to not work, they’d prefer to stay home with their families. They’re like the investment banker who’d like the guy down in the cubicle to buy the house!
And then Cosmo: Cosmopolitan said in a poll of eight hundred women, they found a similar trend. Two-thirds of these woman would prefer the quality of full-time home life. The woman who is president of this marketing firm, Youth Intelligence, said it is no fleeting fantasy. These women honestly aspire to the domestic home life and many will follow through with it.
The reasons? I think you can look at a lot of reasons. The stresses aren’t so synthetic. If you’ve got little Johnny and little Emily who have to go to the doctor or the playground, I mean that’s a lot more rewarding to a person than calling up somebody and screaming at them about why the widgets from Tuscalusa haven’t arrived.
I mean we are now 40 years away from the hardcore feminism -- from the feminist mystique to the work mystique. Well, a work mystique is no more mystique than the feminine mystique. It’s tough, it’s hard. You may choose it, but you shouldn’t idealize it and you shouldn’t romanticize it. There are a lot of women out there who would rather first indulge their nesting instincts.
There is something else that is important here. We are in a very high growth economy. One of the things I think that most of these women are beginning to see is that they could go back into the job market if they wanted to after they have indulged their little nesting instinct.
There’s something else. When the baby boomers start retiring, and they are starting to retire, you are going to have the Generations X and Y women who maybe who have raised their children and want to go back into the job market and there are going to be lots of jobs. Everybody has their computers now so even if you are not working in a profession, you can certainly keep up with the profession.
Well, all this was in the column, and then all of a sudden, I’m working on my next column – you know we columnists just measure out lives in columns – and I get a call and saying Rush Limbaugh is reading this column (the one I just described to you). He was reading it word for word on the radio. So I clicked onto Rush Limbaugh and he goes on to the next point that I had in this column, which I haven’t mentioned to you yet. I had stated that some men, spoiled and soft, will resent taking on a full-time breadwinner role. Of the 500 men Cosmopolitan interviewed, 70% said they’d be proud to solely support a wife and children. 30% had reservations about that; they didn’t want to do that. "AH!," says Rush Limbaugh, "Women are finally coming to their common-sense and discovering their nurturing instincts and look what’s happened; a third of the man don’t want to have anything to do with it. They want her to work. They want her to enjoy the money".
So he was really having a roar about this and thinking that this has uncovered a great new idea in American society.
Well, I closed my column with the lyrics of rocker. She’s with the group No Doubt. Her name is Gwen Stefani. Do you all know who she is? The further you get away from your generation the harder it is to keep up with the lyrics that are the telling lyrics of your society.
Lisa DePasquale at Clare Boothe Luce called me and said I should find out about these Gwen Stefani lyrics. She said they’re just everything I write about. So, she gave me the website and if anybody would’ve walked in and saw me they would’ve thought I was nuts. Here I am watching a video tape of Gwen Stefani with her pink and purple hair singing the lyrics to a new record and new video called The Simple Life. And she’s got a very lyrical voice, very terrific voice. And she’s singing, 'I always thought I’d be a good mom.' And she gets this very sad voice. Then you see her in this flowing wedding dress, and her flowing pink and purple hair. And she’s really sad. She’s yearning for something that she’s lost. There’s a baby in this video and the baby is sitting right in front of her. She goes and picks up the baby. And you know the baby is a fantasy. And then she sings about ‘What has happened?/What went wrong?/Why did I have to be so faithful to my freedom?/A selfish kind of life. When all I ever wanted was the simple things in life.'
I didn’t think that I’d be writing, or standing here talking to you about Gwen Stefani and her group, No Doubt, being a part of these conservative voices. But yes, that’s my point – we are moving toward the tipping point.
It’s an issue
about what we want from each other, what we want when we grow up,
what we want from our marriages and what we want for a society that
we are going to raise our children in. And I think it can be touched
on by people from all different kinds of directions."
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