Dads Against the Divorce Industry

DA*DI is devoted to reinstating the societal valuation of Marriage and the traditional, nuclear American Family, with particular emphasis on the essential role of FATHERS.

DA*DI offers contemporary reports and commentary on culture; its aberrations and its heroes.

But I have reached
my destination and,
kneeling at water's
edge, look and see
myself framed by
everything that goes
on - endlessly
beginning all around
By Robert Cording

The Meanness Of Me-Ness Fear And Trembling On The Daddy Track

Gerald L. Rowles, Ph.D.

Toogood Reports [Wednesday, January 17, 2001; 12:01 a.m. EST]

Does the new administration in Washington bode well for the country's 14 million divorced dads? Despite the strong support men provided for the Bush team during the presidential race, the jury remains sequestered as to whether this administration will begin to reverse the carnage of thirty years of the gender-feminist rant.

Looking at the administration's choices for cabinet nominees, there seems to be little optimism. From a divorced dad's perspective, the lining looks less than silvery and more like tin foil.

Colin Powell has been a highly visible participant in one wing of the fatherhood movement, in conjunction with the National Fatherhood Initiative and Vice-President Al Gore. This is the same Al Gore who during the presidential campaign promised even more draconian measures to snap the elusive "deadbeats" into shape. For his part, Colin Powell (and Dr. Wade Horn of NFI) is more attuned to children's needs than those of child and father bonding. Dr. Horn will and has stated clearly that he is not a father-advocate, but rather a child-advocate. So it seems that NFI should be re-acronymed NCI (National Childhood Initiative).

The sturm and drang of the Ashcroft nomination has been centered by the liberals on charges of racism. But last weekend, and at the end of the preceeding week, we found the Republican spokespersons dragging out that old strawperson, the war against the abusive male.

"Letters From A Killer"
Ashcroft's defenders are uniformly reciting the mantra that as Senator Ashcroft, the nominee was a powerful advocate for the Violence Against Women Act. That loud clapping sound you heard was men everywhere covering their ears so as not to hear that this "strict constitutional constructionist" had fallen on the feminist sword. This defender of the faith and the rule of law was a formidable leader in enacting the most flagrantly unconstitutional piece of legislation since antebellum days. So much so that arch-conservative Ann Coulter was compelled to remark,
"While in the U.S. Senate, John Ashcroft co-sponsored that unconstitutional feminist lunacy, the 'Violence Against Women Act.' That really helped calm down the harridans now that he's Bush's nominee for attorney general. Try to play nice, and liberals will bite your hand off."

The Violence Against Women Act remains one of the three pillars of gender-feminist ideology. The other two being "sexual harassment" (a mystery of proportions that rivals Chaos Theory); and "Choice" as the exclusive right of women to murder a man's offspring while still in the womb. An extension of the latter is the "no-fault" Divorce Industry which virtually guarantees that a woman may whimsically choose to divorce children from their father while simultaneously extorting the dad's financial future. "No-fault" it seems never applies to the male in matters of domestic or career discord.

Despite volumes of solid research that clearly establishes the egalitarain nature of intimate violence as well as the carnage of father absence and abortion, it appears that this administration is making no evident plans to launch a counter-offensive in the gender wars. And it was a sore disappointment to find that the remarkably sensible Eloise Anderson was passed up as a nominee. For dads, reading Eloise is like a breath of pure oxygen (especially when compared with that administered by the ubiquitous Oprah). Eloise Anderson speaks and writes in a way that appeals to fundamental common sense, as uncommon as that has become:

"I believe that marriage is an institution not for adults, but for children. If children are to be given every chance to lead healthy, productive lives, fathers must figure into the family equation. Father involvement is not a revolutionary idea. In fact, it was standard operating procedure only 30 years ago. The truth is that mothers can have it all and do it all but their children get cheated."
Gasp! What a resonate statement to the ears of the now-peripheral dad. As Mark Twain once wrote, "A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt."

Is John Ashcroft the archetypal signal to dads that the new administration will remain handmaidens to the feminazis? The columnist Betsy Hart, recently exhaled this piece of oxygenation "But I am against the feminization of the culture in the sense that traditional feminine virtues are more and more considered vastly superior to traditional masculine virtues. So much so, that men and boys are being both subtly and overtly encouraged to be more, well, womanly."

For divorced dads there is no subtlety in the culture of the Divorce Industry. There is only the jackbooted intimidation of restraining orders, wage garnishment, support orders based on "putative earnings", unrestrained visitation sabotage, allegations of abuse or sexual molest presumed to be true when uttered by the ex, and the incessant threat of yet another violation of due-process by the "family court" system.

For the gender-feminist and the women who revel in the me-ness of the ideology of victimhood and state protection, there are no boundaries to meanness. As venously spat by Lettie Cottin Pogrebin, (1990, co-founder, MS Mag.)

"... dads are pathological bullies who abuse their children"

It is said that when Pythagoras stumbled upon his theorem, he sacrificed a thousand oxen to the gods. It is also said that ever since then, whenever a new mathematical theorem is advanced, oxen everywhere tremble in fear.

So it is when divorced dads hear that the conservative nominee John Ashcroft strict constitutional constructionist "co-sponsored that unconstitutional feminist lunacy, the 'Violence Against Women Act'. " Fear and trembling on the divorced daddy track is justifiably of pythagorean proportions.

Gerald L. Rowles, Ph.D. [Clinical Psychology] is the founder and president of the DA*DI [Dads Against the Divorce Industry] an educational forum for responsible fatherhood. Since founding DA*DI in 1994, he has been devoted to researching, advising and disseminating information on the issues that he believes threaten to engulf and diminish the American culture; the same issues that are driving the divorce industry and the deconstruction of the family and fatherhood. E-Mail Gerald at

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