Dads Against the Divorce Industry

DA*DI is devoted to reinstating the societal valuation of Marriage and the traditional, nuclear American Family, with particular emphasis on the essential role of FATHERS.

DA*DI offers contemporary reports and commentary on culture; its aberrations and its heroes.

A Culture Dissolving In A Bog Of Feminist Hysteria

Gerald L. Rowles, Ph.D.
14 days before Father's Day, 2001


"Will you tell me how to prevent luxury from producing effeminacy, intoxication, extravagnace, vice, and folly?"
- John Adams, writing to Thomas Jefferson, -1819.
Throughout the past several decades we have observed the American culture dissolve into a primeval ooze of self-serving situational values, exhibitionistic emotionality, hypersexualized hedonism, the celebrity of self, and institutionalized iconoclasm. In other venues I have reasoned that rampant narcissism is the soul of contemporary America - and I hold to that assessment.

But, narcissism, an internal conceptualization of self, fails to fully explain the observed behavior and language of the body that exemplifies today's society. For one thing, there is an extravagant exhibitionism that goes well beyond simple arrogance. For another, there is an irrationality that has become so pervasive as to assume a normative pose. Language has become corrupted into slogans, cliches and vague nuances that are a code which is shared among the anointed and the literati. "Choice" is one of those nuanced cliches that seems to encompass whatever situational rationalization is needed to justify one's self-indulgence. On the other hand, "patriarchal" has become the code for condemnation of anything that smacks of logic, tradition and hierarchical social structure.

Before I fall into the trap of expansive allegations without substance, let me make my point and move on to diagnosis. My hypothesis is this; our cultural malaise is an outgrowth of hysterical feminism. In order to illustrate and validate this hypothesis, a clinical exercise is called for.

According to psychology literature, the hysterical (histrionic) personality is diagnostically grouped in what is known as "Cluster B" where it shares billing with a rather sinister group of antisocial, borderline,and narcissistic personality disorders(1.).

The APA approved Diagnostic and Statistical Manual advises;
"(Individuals) diagnosed with this disorder impress others as overly emotional, overly dramatic, and hungry for attention. They may be flirtatious or seductive as a way of drawing attention to themselves, yet they are emotionally shallow. Histrionic patients often live in a romantic fantasy world and are easily bored with routine. About 2-3% of the population is thought to have this disorder. ... historically, in clinical settings, the disorder has been more associated with women. Usually these individuals show little interest in intellectual achievement and careful, analytic thinking. Individuals with this disorder are lively and dramatic and are always drawing attention to themselves. They are prone to exaggeration and often act out a role, such as 'victim' or the 'princess', without being aware of it."

An intriguing analogue to the feminist hysteric is the homosexual activist. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), within the hysterical context, has also said that "in both sexes overt behavior is often a caricature of femininity." Given that most reputable scholars and specialists agree that homosexuals represent about 2-3% of the population, they share with the histrionic population an equivalent niche. As an aside, this presents a compelling argument that contemporary culture is being driven like lemmings over the precipice of pathology by a fractionally, even statistically small segment of its membership.

Now, to get specific, what follows are the criteria that the DSM (3-4) offers for determining the existence of a Hysterical (Histrionic) Personality Disorder. Looking at behavior and presentation, a clinician determines whether the observed components of the presenting case fall within one or more of the diagnostic criteria. In the case of a cultural diagnosis, one may make the diagnosis from a case file rather than from physically interviewing and observing an individual or group. Ultimately, the most important criterion is history - revealing a persistent pattern of behavior. This case file has been compiled from media observations that serve as examples of behavioral presentation and mental status based on the "sampling" model. The samples I have selected represent themes that have recurred over ten years of observation. Behind each of these reports/excerpts is a body of dozens of examples that are strikingly similar, pervasive and repetitive.

The histrionic (hysterical) personality exhibits a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
  1. incessant drawing of attention to oneself   
    "Warning! this from N.O.W. NEWS 3/9/01 Tax Dollars Could Fund Preaching of Male Dominance One woman I know, who belonged to a large Bible Belt congregation, said that most of her female friends had good jobs, but the minister railed, week after week, against women working. As a result, many of the women quit their jobs. In the economic downturn that followed, many of the men lost their jobs, throwing the families into economic chaos. Wrenching divorces followed. Do I want my tax dollars going to family counseling by groups that preach a deeply sexist version of what the 'proper' family should be? I do not. - Caryl Rivers, professor of journalism at Boston University."
    "Policewoman Poses for Playboy: Ginger Harrison hopes she might actually boost police recruitment by becoming the first Los Angeles police officer to pose nude ... Harrison said she doesn't see why the pictures should be a problem, however. 'It's nudity; we see it every day,' she said. 'It's really not that big of a deal.' Harrison said she even hopes the pictures will boost the force's reputation and show it's possible for officers to remain feminine and glamorous. 'It's her own personal thing,' said Latisha Warren, a traffic officer in the city. 'It doesn't make her a bad cop.' (Hey Ginger, are you going to sue for sexual harassment if one of your fellow cops posts your pin-up in his locker? GLR) - ABCNEWS.com 5/31/01.
  2. interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior   
    "Jackie Sumell's art project, she says, is less about art than about social intervention. An MFA student at the San Francisco Art Institute, Sumell has put out the call to female friends and acquaintances: Shave your pubic hair, put it in a little plastic bag and send it to her in the mail (anonymously, please).She plans to hang the bags of bush on a clothesline at the National Organization for Women's April 22 march in Washington. Her rallying cry? 'No Bush! -- It's not yours, it's mine.'"
    - Salon.com 3/28/01.
    Also see #1 above.

  3. displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions   
    “More mothers receive no child support.” (The Baltimore Sun)
    “More parents getting full child support.” (The Record)
    “Study finds little change in child support.” (The Washington Times)
    [As diagnosed by Kathleen Parker from a column on October 18, 2001]
    "While women and social scientists may agree that financially and emotionally a two-parent home is ideal for a child, the Women.com survey said 66 percent said couples should not stay married for the sake of the kids and only 18 percent feared divorce. ... While more than 1 million American children experience the divorce of their parents and half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18, most of the mothers in the Women.com survey said they would still have had children even if they had known their marriages were doomed. Seventy-seven percent of divorced or separated moms with children under 18 said they would still have kids if they had it to do over again, according to the survey. - UPI News Article: Moms want dads for Mother's Day 5/12/01
    ("Moms want dads for Mother's Day", but if it's inconvenient, they'll have the kids on their own - seems like a good example of shifting emotions - GLR)
    "Fathers are Portrayed as personally fulfilled after divorce, in marked contrast to the mounting depression and gloom that envelops their overburdened ex-wives - and their troubled kids. ... it is in fact mothers who fare substantially better emotionally than fathers. ... Between 1/3 and 3/4 of all divorces are initiated by wives. ... the top ten reasons mothers give for seeking divorce include such mundane factors as 'spouse not able or willing to meet my needs' " - Dr. Sanford Braver Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths Putnam 1998.
    (Offered as an example of shallow emotion - GLR)
  4. has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail  
    "Jane Fonda, the celebrated movie star, has just given Harvard University $12.5 million to establish a Center on Gender and Education. Its purpose is to advance the research of Carol Gilligan, the celebrated professor of gender studies at Harvard's School of Education. ... In the 1990s, Ms. Gilligan announced a ... momentous discovery: Children, under 'patriarchy,' suffer a demoralizing loss of self-esteem. Girls who are outspoken and spirited at age nine become silent and withdrawn as they enter adolescence. Ms. Gilligan ascribed the plight of girls to a kind of 'psychological footbinding.' Boys suffer as much or worse, but at an even earlier age. According to Ms. Gilligan, somewhere between ages three and seven, boys are 'pushed from their mothers' and forced to 'internalize the patriarchal voice.' This traumatic socialization supposedly shuts boys down emotionally and renders them vulnerable to a variety of mental illnesses. ... when asked that Prof. Gilligan produce some genuine evidence for her sweeping claims, she prefers to say, in answer to her critics, that 'thousands of readers resonate to my message'." - The Wall Street Journal 3/9/01.
  5. shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion  
    "But the mainstream of feminism apparently believes that there is no room on the calendar for an evening in which to remember such romance. The announcement declares, "V-Day is a movement to stop violence against women. V-Day's debut on Valentine's Day 1998 was a benefit performance of Eve Ensler's Obie award winning "The Vagina Monologues"....V-Day is still Valentine's Day. But the "V" now also stands for vagina, anti-violence and victory." The transformation of the "V" word from 'Valentine' to 'Vagina and Violence' has been widely embraced by the feminist movement. The National Organization for Women enthusiastically declared, "The V-Day mission statement incorporates ending rape, sexual abuse of children, battery and genital mutilation." And, so, this gentle celebration of romance between the sexes is being converted into a shrill protest against the statistically few men who physically batter women. ... In 'The Vagina Monologues,' women (who represent vaginas) speak out from the stage about their experiences and preferences. For example, one vagina might discuss her predilection for feather boas as opposed to blue jeans. The original includes a scenario entitled 'The Little Coochi Snorcher that Could.' This is a reference to a 13-year-old girl/vagina who calls her genitalia 'coochi snorcher.' In this scene, a 24-year-old woman plies the child with alcohol, then sexually seduces her. By statute law and by all prior feminist definitions I have read, this 'seduction' is both rape and child abuse. The scene would elicit unmitigated rage if the seducer were a heterosexual male. Yet, in the original text, the little girl declares, 'Now people say it was a kind of rape.... Well, I say if it was rape, it was a good rape....The Coochi Snorcher eulogized her orgasm: 'She [the 24 year-old woman] gently and slowly lays me out on the bed....' In the end, the child gratefully concludes, 'I'll never need to rely on a man.' " - The 'Monologues' Ride Again by Wendy McElroy 8/3/00."
  6. overreaction to minor events  
    Forty years ago, we had Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. Now we've got Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife. How can we so pervasively mistake retrogression for innovation, and the tired old status quo for a brave new world? I mean, find me a woman who has not spent her life thinking she should be doing a better job of subjugating herself to other people's wishes.
    - Geneva Overholser; Detroit News 5/27/01.
    " The more time toddlers spend in child care, the more likely they are to display behavior problems in kindergarten, according to the results of the largest and most authoritative long-term study of child care in the United States.
    'It's like just yank every woman out of the job and tell her to get back in her house and take care of her kids," said state Sen. Jackie Speier (D-San Francisco), an advocate for greater funding for child-care programs. 'We are living in the 21st century. Everyone's got to get over that.' - by Jessica Garrison, Times Staff Writer for The Los Angeles Times 4/19/01.
    Miss Breeden was an administrator for the Clark County school district when she attended a meeting to discuss applicants for school police officer positions. Also attending the meeting were her supervisor and one of her subordinates. A report on one applicant showed that he admitted saying to a co-worker at a previous job, 'Making love to you is like making love to the Grand Canyon.' Miss Breeden said her supervisor read the statement out loud, looked at her, shrugged his shoulders and said he didn´t know what it meant. Her subordinate said, 'Well, I´ll tell you later,' and both men laughed. In 1997, Miss Breeden filed a harassment lawsuit against the school district. - By Anne Gearan ASSOCIATED PRESS 4/24/01.
  7. is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances  
    "The question of whether or not memories can be invented out of whole cloth is of more than academic interest. During the '80s and '90s, thousands were accused of sex abuse based on repressed "memories." The fantasies were typically wrested from female patients who were manipulated by therapists after seeking treatment for eating disorders and marital difficulties. Guided by academic fashion, therapists convinced them their troubles could be traced to forgotten abuse. Daycare workers were also convicted of heinous acts of child molestation based not on physical evidence but on the testimony of youngsters who, after being repeatedly badgered, produced fantastical tales of abuse in order to please their coaches on the prosecution team. Thousands of lives were devastated by the hysteria. Ms. magazine ran a cover story insisting women who claimed they'd been violated by Satanic cults should be believed, even though the FBI said there was 'not one single scrap of evidence for the existence of these cults. Not one. Zero.' Speakers at Canadian universities who questioned repressed memory were shouted down."
    - Nationalpost.com - "Inventing Memories" - June 15, 2001

    From Behind the clouds of fright: "The point of this ... is to caution the public and policy-makers against being rushed to action by scaremongers and the media who broadcast their message. For the science of climate change, despite what proponents of the theory of global warming claim, is hardly settled. It is filled with uncertainty."
    - Frederick Seitz - The Washington Times 5/29/01.

    "...rape is the perfected act of male sexuality in a patriarchal culture - it is the ultimate metaphor for domination, violence, subjugation, and possession." - Robin Morgan. Demon Lover: On the Sexuality of Terrorism W.W. Norton & Co., 1989
    "Tina Oakland, feminist and director of the UCLA Center for Women and Men, was particularly incensed about the (Independent Women's Forum) ad's first item "Myth: One in four women in college has been the victim of rape or attempted rape (disputing feminist myths).'Challenging this number, Oakland told Ben Domenech of National Review Online, is like denying the Holocaust.' But the 1-in-4 stat is one of feminism's most popular 'advocacy numbers' that can't stand much analysis. A recent survey funded by the Justice Department said about 1.7 percent of female college students per year are victims of rape–'unwanted completed penetration by force or the threat of force'–and an additional 1.1 percent are victims of attempted rape. In a companion study, when a comparable group of women were asked differently worded questions, the rate of completed rapes was 11 times lower, 0.16 percent. The U.S. Department of Education's studies of reports to campus police came up with a low rate, too. Counting both on- and off-campus offenses, these stats show about 1,800 forcible sex offenses (including fondling) each year at the more than 6,300 post-secondary instititions. If you triple that number to allow for unreported offenses, it would still come to less than one 'rape' per school each year. - John Leo, Miffing the myth makers jewishworldreview.com 5/31/01."

    Feminist fury  When the Independent Women´s Forum bought advertising space in the UCLA Daily Bruin this spring to list and rebut 10 of "the most common feminist myths" (see http://www.iwf.org/), it was not the IWF and its arguments that provoked feminist ire on the sprawling West Los Angeles campus. That is, there were no calls to debate the refreshingly anti-establishment women´s organization. Nor was there a flurry of written rebuttals to the IWF ad (the paper carried approximately two dissenting letters), meetings or discussion groups. Instead, campus feminists, represented by the UCLA Clothesline Project and the Coalition for the Fair Representation of Women, rallied at a local park to protest the appearance of the ad in the Bruin, and to demand both a retraction and an apology from the newspaper for having run the ad in the first place. So much for the spirit of debate.
          "We want them to retract the publishing of this ad," the Clothesline Project´s Christie Scott told the newspaper. "We do want an apology, but most of all we want this not to happen again."
         What, precisely, is not supposed to "happen again" the publication in the press of a fact-backed argument with which these groups disagree? The sentiment Ms. Scott expresses, shared by her campus cohorts, is nothing less than chilling. (It somehow fits that the Clothesline Project, the national organization Ms. Scott serves as UCLA "co-chair," is an organization devoted neither to debate or study, but to the macabre and even Dada-esque commemoration of sex crimes with clothesline displays of t-shirts color-coded by crime red, orange and pink for rape, blue and green for incest, black for sexual harassment and multi-colors for multi-crimes.
    - Editorial - The Washington Times 6/1/01.

  8. considers relationships to be more intimate (intense) than they actually are  
    "TUCSON - Officials enforcing a law aimed at stopping school violence arrested 514 Pima County children this school year for making comments perceived to be threats. That's an average of about three arrests per school day. The law, which forbids 'interfering with the peaceful conduct of an educational institution,' was changed in April 2000 to allow felony charges. At its worst, the offense is a Class 6 felony. ... Opponents of the law say it's an overreaction to arrest every child for making threats or comments that are taken as threats." - Associated Press 5/28/01.
    "Little Billy Barnes has been busted - again. The eight-year-old Grade 2 student at tiny Ragged Island Consolidated School near Lockeport was suspended for a day last week after he pointed a breaded chicken finger at a classmate and said 'bang'. 'Somebody told on me,' Billy said. Mrs. Barnes said the suspension, Billy's second of the year, goes on his permanent record. The possession or use of weapons at school, as defined by the Criminal Code of Canada, is prohibited and may result in immediate school suspension. The Criminal Code defines a weapon as anything designed to be used to cause death, injury or intimidation. The school board policy says nothing about pointing fingers - chicken or human - or uttering the word bang. " - The Halifax Herald Limited 5/31/01.
    "I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them" - Robin Morgan. Demon Lover: On the Sexuality of Terrorism W.W. Norton & Co., 1989
    Also See #7. (above)

  9. egocentric, self-indulgent and inconsiderate of others  
    "A mother who allowed her three daughters to have sex when they were 11 years of age is to appear on television to defend her decision. Chantal Marshall's daughters Tara, 14, Emma, 18, and Terri, 16, all lost their virginity at 11, with their mother making no serious attempts to curb their behaviour. Next Thursday the family will appear on a Carlton TV documentary in which Mrs Marshall will attempt to justify the way she has brought up her family. Seven months ago, the Marshalls appeared on a similar programme for Channel 4. Mrs Marshall tells the programme makers: 'I don't believe I'm a bad parent and I won't accept that I'm a failed parent either. I know it's controversial but I believe I can help my children if I can keep on open mind and the communication lines open.' Mrs Marshall, whose elder daughters Emma and Terri have both had abortions, claims to be concerned but insists that sex among the young is an irreversible social trend. - by Colin Freeman (U.K., Times) 2/1/01."
  10. vain and demanding  
    A mother of five on death row for starving one of her daughters to death is fighting to keep custody of two others, claiming her imprisonment won't affect how she can care for them. 'The only thing I can't do is be with them at this time,' Michelle Sue Tharp told Washington County Judge Thomas D. Gladden at a hearing Monday. Tharp, of Burgettstown, about 23 miles west of Pittsburgh, was convicted and sentenced to death in November for the April 1998 starvation death of her 7-year-old daughter Tausha Lee Lanham. - WASHINGTON, Pa. (AP) 4/11/01"

    At the end of 2001 Iowa State University season, a 109 year men's baseball program is coming to an end due to a lack of funding. However, the precise mechanism for this forfeiture of a traditional sport that is as American as mom and apple-pie is the Title IX mandate for the promotion of women's sports. To my knowledge, not one woman's sport is being cut. - GLR

    See also #9 (above).

  11. irrational, angry outbursts or tantrums  
    "Linita Pettigrew, is charged with one count of felony child endangering. Pettigrew, during an argument Thursday on Brooklyn Avenue, is accused of letting the front door hit the child in the head as the boy sat on the porch, then picking up the child by one arm and chasing the boy's father up the street, (Detective) Wolford said. She struck the father with the child and used the child as a shield during the clash, Wolford said."
    - Dayton Daily News 5/26/01.
  12. dependent, helpless, constantly seeking reassurance  
    "Kerrisha Havens of Owosso says the Shiawassee County Friend of the Court office caused her to lose out on nearly $2,300 in child support from Social Security disability checks coming to her ex-husband. She says the office didn’t follow up when the father notifed the office a year ago that the money was available. 'That’s money I would have had if they had just bothered to pick up the telephone or send me a letter,' Havens said. ... Havens said she found out about the disability money during a phone conversation with the ex-husband.
    - Detroit News 5/20/01"

       "Last fall, three Ontario Court of Appeal judges rejected "Michael's" plea to reduce his family-support payments. In their view, there was no reason why he shouldn't continue paying $7,153 to his former wife each month -- $4,153 in child support, plus $3,000 in alimony.
       The problem is that this represents 96% of Michael's monthly take-home pay. While the court included a severance package, bonuses and other earnings when calculating his income, the severance was a one-time thing when he switched jobs, and the other items can't be counted on.
       From day to day, Michael lives on his annual $158,000 salary. His January, 2000, pay stubs show that, after deductions such as CPP, EI and income tax, he takes home $7,455 a month as the chief financial officer of a prominent corporation. (The National Post has granted him anonymity at the request of his employer.)
       After making his court-ordered payments, Michael is left with $302 a month on which to live. In Toronto, even a single man on welfare is allotted more -- $520 a month. Put another way, of every dollar Michael earns, he keeps only 2˘, since 44˘ goes to employment deductions, 31˘ goes to child support and 23˘ goes to alimony.
       Nor can it be argued that Michael's former wife is suffering financially. One thousand tax-free dollars a week is such an obvious windfall that the Ontario Lottery Corp. runs a lottery in which this is, in fact, the prize. Not only does his former wife receive more than $4,000 in tax-free child support each month, she gets an additional $3,000 in spousal support. This adds up to $85,836 a year. Put another way, her income from Michael is roughly equivalent to that of someone paid a fully taxable $125,000 a year in the workforce.
       Last December, she purchased a $375,000 home. According to her 1996 tax return, that year alone she donated $21,385 to charity. - Donna Laframboise, National Post 3/21/00."
Rather than the five indices required to establish a diagnosis of Histrionic Personality Disorder, the foregoing demonstrates that 12 can be substantiated. Of these twelve, 6 (#'s 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7) are directly associated with Feminism (or its spokesperson organization N.O.W.). Of the remaining six, five (#s 3, 8, 9, 11, 12) can be directly linked to the Feminist manifesto:

"The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together. Families make possible the super-exploitation of women by training them to look upon their work outside the home as peripheral to their 'true' role. ... No woman should have to deny herself any opportunities because of her special responsibilities to her children. ... Families will be finally destroyed only when a revolutionary social and economic organization permits people's needs for love and security to be met in ways that do not impose divisions of labor, or any external roles, at all." - Functions of the Family, Linda Gordon, in WOMEN: A Journal of Liberation, Fall, 1969.
It was the Feminist movement which urged that women should be free to sexually experiment, setting the stage for wholesale defection from marriage, family and emotional depth (3). It was the feminist movement that beat the drum of masculine aggression and that all men/boys are potential rapists, batterers, and pedophiles; while girls were alleged to be suffering vast injuries to their self-esteem in schoolrooms (8). Female sexuality and "choice" have been placed upon a Feminist pedestal that has superseded the valuation of the gift of life (9). The incessant Feminist mantra of violence against women (a bald-faced lie) has made every woman a victim; whose most reprehensible acts are attributable to some forgivable deep-seated response to historical patriarchal repression (11). It should be a constant embarrassment to the Feminist establishment that their "liberated" cohort has displaced fundamental needs from family and husband to quality-child-care, Uncle Sugar, and the child-support Gestapo - but it is not (12).

"Indeed, survey after survey shows most women would prefer to spend more time with their young children. The scandal of feminism, of course, is that most women know that they are not entirely autonomous economic actors, and that they have natural impulses and familial responsibilities that can't be blithely ignored.
    But feminists want to ignore exactly this. They have no interest in encouraging the choice to stay at home, and oppose those policy changes that would make it easier for mothers to do so — cutting taxes on families, discouraging divorce and illegitimacy." - Rich Lowry, Editor National Review Online 6/1/01.
This latter unabashedness is the fundamental core of the hysteric. "I must not see, I must not hear, I must not feel" the anxiety of reality testing. As with most personality disorders, the diagnostic hallmarks of the histrionic are the evolved childish protections against the knock, knock (or Tick, Tock) of anxiety and maturation. They are the protection against the universal impulse for union and procreation. The monster under the bed has been displaced by anything which smacks of the "masculine". The anxiety of becoming a responsible parent has been displaced by the eraser of abortion - the power to kill responsibility. The need for security has been replaced with the demand for government entitlement (another person's money) without having to struggle with human reciprocity. I am woman, just hear me roar!

The ridiculousness of the Feminist poseur would be laughable if the culture were not allowing itself to be intimidated into submission. If there is anything the Feminist cannot tolerate, it is humor (except male bashing) or truth, especially if it challenges their incantations. What is most telling about Feminism and its media collaborators are the stories that don't see the spot light of wide coverage: Pro-Life Activist Stabbed Outside Abortion Clinic; Hiv-Positive Teacher Raped Boy, 9; Planned Parenthood Sex Manifesto Promotes 'Fun' to Youth. The absence or near absence of these stories in the mainstream media would seem to run counter to the hysterical media motto "If it bleeds, it leads". Ah, but the Feminist incantation murmurs forth from the pit of anxiety; ahmmmmmmmm "I must not feel empathy for, nor guilt from, my pro-life enemy. I must not hear stories of violent homosexual pederasts, they are my allies. I must not see the consequences of encouraging young heads-full-of-mush to engage in sexual experimentation - even with their same sex." I am woman, just hear me roar!

While Narcissism seeks to kill the G-d of our forebearers, Hysterical Feminism seeks to kill the cultural traditions of millenia. Both are goals that rival Genesis, and yet both are succeeding. From clinical experience I have learned, never underestimate the power and determination of pathology. Remember Faust.

"We are all cultural relativists now. We are just individuals who do what we want, whatever it may be. We can "justify" anything we will, just because we "will" it. It is reality that is wrong when it does not conform to what we want. Our relativism is so absolute that we can hardly recognize our neighbor as belonging to the same level of being that we do. Indeed, we deny the very idea of "levels of being." We see little difference between human "rights" and plant or animal "rights"; both are merely "will-rights." According to our new and modern principles, moreover, our neighbor can, by "right," choose and do the most lethal or outlandish things and not be called at all "abnormal." The only thing to be said about abnormality is that it is "normal."

That we are becoming swamped in the unreasonable, the distorted, the perverse, the violent, the disordered, is not a question of theory. It is a question of fact. What is a question of theory — universal theory in the universal culture — however, is what it is we do in the face of accurately describing these things when judged by the norms of reason. By those universal standards we can well be in rapid decline yet choose to call our condition "liberty." We can perform this inversion because we can choose to deceive ourselves about ourselves. But the universal culture remains.

If we deny to ourselves both the capacity to judge and its legitimacy, we have implicitly defined ourselves out of existence."
- One Culture, After All James V. Schall, S. J., a professor of government at Georgetown University In National Review Online June 2-3, 2001.
In this diagnostic exercise, I freely admit to offering a reasoned and critical "judgment". In the face of our cultural dilemma, it is vital that we exercise critical thinking and begin to refute the psychological terrorism that is radical Feminism. Two forms of rapprochement to this terrorism are currently in vogue. One is the male who is primarily concerned with maintaining their power base, and will therefore listen to and acknowledge the hysterical Feminist claims of male domination that have been repeatedly refuted. The second is the naive male who still pursues the role of knight in shining armor - riding to the rescue of the female "victim" - as if it were as yet viable.

These two approaches are both culture killers.

The first merely feeds the beast and ratifies egosyntonic claims, rather than exposing them as troubling symptoms. At least in my lifetime I have never seen men and women in such a defensive posture with one another. On the one hand, too many contemporary women regard men as potential threat to their person. Intimate relationships are precluded by this mindset. Politicians and celebrities who pander to this pathology must be removed from office or boycotted. Above all they must be removed from power by any and all available means short of physical harm or illegal acts.

The second must be redirected to more constructive ends. The message to all would-be rescuers in a victim culture must be "caution." The would-be rescuer is the most vulnerable because a victim is never "rescued", they are only maintained. At the very moment a rescuer suspends the rescue mission they become a persecutor in the mind of the victim. Their role is to constantly listen to repetitious complaints, defend against accusations, and accept the victim's predisposition to blame others for all of their problems. This defensive posture is both exhausting and futile for the demands will only escalate and become more bizarre until finally the rescuer admits defeat and accepts persecutor status.

Here are some steps that must be taken if the culture is to survive:
  1. Ignore the Feminist and her organizational fronts. Boycott newspapers and televised media that feed their need for attention and seemingly endorse their positions. Write a letter to the editor.
  2. Avoid and discourage women that seek power through sexualization. If they are openly sexually provocative, it is a potential trap. If she "turns you on", you might take this as a warning. Don't put yourself in a position to have to chew your leg off to escape.
  3. When approached by someone whose interpersonal style is an emotional rollercoaster ride, either walk away or challenge them to express themself in a more rational way without becoming obstreperous; "tell me what you think, not what you feel."
  4. When you find yourself engaged in a conversation with someone who globalizes their points, pin them down and insist that they provide specifics and details.
  5. Support performers and celebrities whose politics are known to be conservative and sensible. Boycott those who are not. Boycott 95% of all sitcoms - they are assuming a level of stupidity and licentiousness about you that you should find insulting. Take up reading.
  6. Turn mountains into molehills when appropriate. The sky is not falling.
  7. When an "authority" is cited, ascertain its validity. There is an epidemic of junk science out there.
  8. If someone comes to you with relationship problems, recommend a pastor. Otherwise bow out unless you are a licensed therapist. All relationships have problems to lesser and greater degrees, and you are not in a position to resolve them.
  9. If someone is inconsiderate and at the same time demanding, they need to have themselves as companions. Friendship and more intimate relationships are most successful when there is quid pro quo. Become a relationship capitalist - don't buy at retail and sell at wholesale, especially when the medium of exchange is love and affection.
  10. Tantrums are what children have if their parents are too permissive. If you wish to establish a relationship, do it with another adult. You can't be lover and parent too.
  11. When you hear the phrase "for the children", what ever follows is a lie.
  12. And if you should become a (married) parent, don't intellectualize or chum-up the relationship. Raising kids is easy - just pretend they're someone else's. They need love, limit-setting, a moral code, and at least for the first three years, a full time parent at home - preferably a mother who helps them to develop relational skills.
  13. If you think 13 is an unlucky number, you are thinking hysterically - go walk under a ladder and free your mind.
  14. Call your dad and say something nice to him.
Above all, realize that this is war. Think like a soldier. Protect your flank; avoid potential ambushes; arm yourself with facts, logic and moral reasoning; and assault the enemy position - because you can't win by only defending yours. Once the war is over, and Feminists are remembered like Pearl Harbor - perhaps diplomatic relations can be re-established with the survivors.

With contributions from Douglas Heckman, MA, MFCC


Footnotes: (1.)Personality Disorder Defined: (DSM 3-4)

The essential feature is a personality disorder (inflexible and maladaptive traits that cause either significant impairment in social or occupational functioning or subjective distress) in which there are overly dramatic, reactive and intensely expressed behavior and characteristic disturbances in interpersonal relationships.

Personality is too pervasive and ingrained to change very much. It is also usually egosyntonic, that is, felt by the patient as natural and right, as the essence of what he or she is, rather than as a set of troubling symptoms. Patients may regard attempts to change it as brainwashing or punishment. Most psychotherapists hope only to make their patients more aware of how their personality patterns, or at least the resulting actions, are hurting them, and so reduce the problems created in work and personal relationships.


Back to DA*DI's Home

Dads Against the Divorce Industry Dads Against the Divorce Industry