Dads Against the Divorce Industry
DA*DI is devoted to reinstating the societal valuation of Marriage and the traditional, nuclear American Family, with particular emphasis on the essential role of FATHERS.
DA*DI offers contemporary reports and commentary on culture; its aberrations and its heroes.
"Policewoman Poses for Playboy: Ginger Harrison hopes she might actually boost police recruitment by becoming the first Los Angeles police officer to pose nude ... Harrison said she doesn't see why the pictures should be a problem, however. 'It's nudity; we see it every day,' she said. 'It's really not that big of a deal.' Harrison said she even hopes the pictures will boost the force's reputation and show it's possible for officers to remain feminine and glamorous. 'It's her own personal thing,' said Latisha Warren, a traffic officer in the city. 'It doesn't make her a bad cop.' (Hey Ginger, are you going to sue for sexual harassment if one of your fellow cops posts your pin-up in his locker? GLR) - ABCNEWS.com 5/31/01.
"Jackie Sumell's art project, she says, is less about art than about social intervention. An MFA student at the San Francisco Art Institute, Sumell has put out the call to female friends and acquaintances: Shave your pubic hair, put it in a little plastic bag and send it to her in the mail (anonymously, please).She plans to hang the bags of bush on a clothesline at the National Organization for Women's April 22 march in Washington. Her rallying cry? 'No Bush! -- It's not yours, it's mine.'"Also see #1 above.
“More mothers receive no child support.” (The Baltimore Sun)
"While women and social scientists may agree that financially and emotionally a two-parent home is ideal for a child, the Women.com survey said 66 percent said couples should not stay married for the sake of the kids and only 18 percent feared divorce. ... While more than 1 million American children experience the divorce of their parents and half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18, most of the mothers in the Women.com survey said they would still have had children even if they had known their marriages were doomed. Seventy-seven percent of divorced or separated moms with children under 18 said they would still have kids if they had it to do over again, according to the survey. - UPI News Article: Moms want dads for Mother's Day 5/12/01
"Fathers are Portrayed as personally fulfilled after divorce, in marked contrast to the mounting depression and gloom that envelops their overburdened ex-wives - and their troubled kids. ... it is in fact mothers who fare substantially better emotionally than fathers. ... Between 1/3 and 3/4 of all divorces are initiated by wives. ... the top ten reasons mothers give for seeking divorce include such mundane factors as 'spouse not able or willing to meet my needs' " - Dr. Sanford Braver Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths Putnam 1998.
"Jane Fonda, the celebrated movie star, has just given Harvard University $12.5 million to establish a Center on Gender and Education. Its purpose is to advance the research of Carol Gilligan, the celebrated professor of gender studies at Harvard's School of Education. ... In the 1990s, Ms. Gilligan announced a ... momentous discovery: Children, under 'patriarchy,' suffer a demoralizing loss of self-esteem. Girls who are outspoken and spirited at age nine become silent and withdrawn as they enter adolescence. Ms. Gilligan ascribed the plight of girls to a kind of 'psychological footbinding.' Boys suffer as much or worse, but at an even earlier age. According to Ms. Gilligan, somewhere between ages three and seven, boys are 'pushed from their mothers' and forced to 'internalize the patriarchal voice.' This traumatic socialization supposedly shuts boys down emotionally and renders them vulnerable to a variety of mental illnesses. ... when asked that Prof. Gilligan produce some genuine evidence for her sweeping claims, she prefers to say, in answer to her critics, that 'thousands of readers resonate to my message'." - The Wall Street Journal 3/9/01.
"But the mainstream of feminism apparently believes that there is no room on the calendar for an evening in which to remember such romance. The announcement declares, "V-Day is a movement to stop violence against women. V-Day's debut on Valentine's Day 1998 was a benefit performance of Eve Ensler's Obie award winning "The Vagina Monologues"....V-Day is still Valentine's Day. But the "V" now also stands for vagina, anti-violence and victory." The transformation of the "V" word from 'Valentine' to 'Vagina and Violence' has been widely embraced by the feminist movement. The National Organization for Women enthusiastically declared, "The V-Day mission statement incorporates ending rape, sexual abuse of children, battery and genital mutilation." And, so, this gentle celebration of romance between the sexes is being converted into a shrill protest against the statistically few men who physically batter women. ... In 'The Vagina Monologues,' women (who represent vaginas) speak out from the stage about their experiences and preferences. For example, one vagina might discuss her predilection for feather boas as opposed to blue jeans. The original includes a scenario entitled 'The Little Coochi Snorcher that Could.' This is a reference to a 13-year-old girl/vagina who calls her genitalia 'coochi snorcher.' In this scene, a 24-year-old woman plies the child with alcohol, then sexually seduces her. By statute law and by all prior feminist definitions I have read, this 'seduction' is both rape and child abuse. The scene would elicit unmitigated rage if the seducer were a heterosexual male. Yet, in the original text, the little girl declares, 'Now people say it was a kind of rape.... Well, I say if it was rape, it was a good rape....The Coochi Snorcher eulogized her orgasm: 'She [the 24 year-old woman] gently and slowly lays me out on the bed....' In the end, the child gratefully concludes, 'I'll never need to rely on a man.' " - The 'Monologues' Ride Again by Wendy McElroy 8/3/00."
Forty years ago, we had Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. Now we've got Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife. How can we so pervasively mistake retrogression for innovation, and the tired old status quo for a brave new world? I mean, find me a woman who has not spent her life thinking she should be doing a better job of subjugating herself to other people's wishes.
" The more time toddlers spend in child care, the more likely they are to display behavior problems in kindergarten, according to the results of the largest and most authoritative long-term study of child care in the United States.
Miss Breeden was an administrator for the Clark County school district when she attended a meeting to discuss applicants for school police officer positions. Also attending the meeting were her supervisor and one of her subordinates. A report on one applicant showed that he admitted saying to a co-worker at a previous job, 'Making love to you is like making love to the Grand Canyon.' Miss Breeden said her supervisor read the statement out loud, looked at her, shrugged his shoulders and said he didn´t know what it meant. Her subordinate said, 'Well, I´ll tell you later,' and both men laughed. In 1997, Miss Breeden filed a harassment lawsuit against the school district. - By Anne Gearan ASSOCIATED PRESS 4/24/01.
"The question of whether or not memories can be invented out of whole cloth is of more than academic interest. During the '80s and '90s, thousands were accused of sex abuse based on repressed "memories." The fantasies were typically wrested from female patients who were manipulated by therapists after seeking treatment for eating disorders and marital difficulties. Guided by academic fashion, therapists convinced them their troubles could be traced to forgotten abuse. Daycare workers were also convicted of heinous acts of child molestation based not on physical evidence but on the testimony of youngsters who, after being repeatedly badgered, produced fantastical tales of abuse in order to please their coaches on the prosecution team. Thousands of lives were devastated by the hysteria. Ms. magazine ran a cover story insisting women who claimed they'd been violated by Satanic cults should be believed, even though the FBI said there was 'not one single scrap of evidence for the existence of these cults. Not one. Zero.' Speakers at Canadian universities who questioned repressed memory were shouted down."
From Behind the clouds of fright: "The point of this ... is to caution the public and policy-makers against being rushed to action by scaremongers and the media who broadcast their message. For the science of climate change, despite what proponents of the theory of global warming claim, is hardly settled. It is filled with uncertainty."
"...rape is the perfected act of male sexuality in a patriarchal culture - it is the ultimate metaphor for domination, violence, subjugation, and possession." - Robin Morgan. Demon Lover: On the Sexuality of Terrorism W.W. Norton & Co., 1989
"Tina Oakland, feminist and director of the UCLA Center for Women and Men, was particularly incensed about the (Independent Women's Forum) ad's first item "Myth: One in four women in college has been the victim of rape or attempted rape (disputing feminist myths).'Challenging this number, Oakland told Ben Domenech of National Review Online, is like denying the Holocaust.' But the 1-in-4 stat is one of feminism's most popular 'advocacy numbers' that can't stand much analysis. A recent survey funded by the Justice Department said about 1.7 percent of female college students per year are victims of rape–'unwanted completed penetration by force or the threat of force'–and an additional 1.1 percent are victims of attempted rape. In a companion study, when a comparable group of women were asked differently worded questions, the rate of completed rapes was 11 times lower, 0.16 percent. The U.S. Department of Education's studies of reports to campus police came up with a low rate, too. Counting both on- and off-campus offenses, these stats show about 1,800 forcible sex offenses (including fondling) each year at the more than 6,300 post-secondary instititions. If you triple that number to allow for unreported offenses, it would still come to less than one 'rape' per school each year. - John Leo, Miffing the myth makers jewishworldreview.com 5/31/01."
Feminist fury When the Independent Women´s Forum bought advertising space in the UCLA Daily Bruin this spring to list and rebut 10 of "the most common feminist myths" (see http://www.iwf.org/), it was not the IWF and its arguments that provoked feminist ire on the sprawling West Los Angeles campus. That is, there were no calls to debate the refreshingly anti-establishment women´s organization. Nor was there a flurry of written rebuttals to the IWF ad (the paper carried approximately two dissenting letters), meetings or discussion groups. Instead, campus feminists, represented by the UCLA Clothesline Project and the Coalition for the Fair Representation of Women, rallied at a local park to protest the appearance of the ad in the Bruin, and to demand both a retraction and an apology from the newspaper for having run the ad in the first place. So much for the spirit of debate.
"TUCSON - Officials enforcing a law aimed at stopping school violence arrested 514 Pima County children this school year for making comments perceived to be threats. That's an average of about three arrests per school day. The law, which forbids 'interfering with the peaceful conduct of an educational institution,' was changed in April 2000 to allow felony charges. At its worst, the offense is a Class 6 felony. ... Opponents of the law say it's an overreaction to arrest every child for making threats or comments that are taken as threats." - Associated Press 5/28/01.
"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them" - Robin Morgan. Demon Lover: On the Sexuality of Terrorism W.W. Norton & Co., 1989Also See #7. (above)
"A mother who allowed her three daughters to have sex when they were 11 years of age is to appear on television to defend her decision. Chantal Marshall's daughters Tara, 14, Emma, 18, and Terri, 16, all lost their virginity at 11, with their mother making no serious attempts to curb their behaviour. Next Thursday the family will appear on a Carlton TV documentary in which Mrs Marshall will attempt to justify the way she has brought up her family. Seven months ago, the Marshalls appeared on a similar programme for Channel 4. Mrs Marshall tells the programme makers: 'I don't believe I'm a bad parent and I won't accept that I'm a failed parent either. I know it's controversial but I believe I can help my children if I can keep on open mind and the communication lines open.' Mrs Marshall, whose elder daughters Emma and Terri have both had abortions, claims to be concerned but insists that sex among the young is an irreversible social trend. - by Colin Freeman (U.K., Times) 2/1/01."
A mother of five on death row for starving one of her daughters to death is fighting to keep custody of two others, claiming her imprisonment won't affect how she can care for them. 'The only thing I can't do is be with them at this time,' Michelle Sue Tharp told Washington County Judge Thomas D. Gladden at a hearing Monday. Tharp, of Burgettstown, about 23 miles west of Pittsburgh, was convicted and sentenced to death in November for the April 1998 starvation death of her 7-year-old daughter Tausha Lee Lanham. - WASHINGTON, Pa. (AP) 4/11/01"
See also #9 (above).
"Linita Pettigrew, is charged with one count of felony child endangering. Pettigrew, during an argument Thursday on Brooklyn Avenue, is accused of letting the front door hit the child in the head as the boy sat on the porch, then picking up the child by one arm and chasing the boy's father up the street, (Detective) Wolford said. She struck the father with the child and used the child as a shield during the clash, Wolford said."
"Kerrisha Havens of Owosso says the Shiawassee County Friend of the Court office caused her to lose out on nearly $2,300 in child support from Social Security disability checks coming to her ex-husband. She says the office didn’t follow up when the father notifed the office a year ago that the money was available. 'That’s money I would have had if they had just bothered to pick up the telephone or send me a letter,' Havens said. ... Havens said she found out about the disability money during a phone conversation with the ex-husband.Rather than the five indices required to establish a diagnosis of Histrionic Personality Disorder, the foregoing demonstrates that 12 can be substantiated. Of these twelve, 6 (#'s 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7) are directly associated with Feminism (or its spokesperson organization N.O.W.). Of the remaining six, five (#s 3, 8, 9, 11, 12) can be directly linked to the Feminist manifesto:
"The nuclear family must be destroyed, and people must find better ways of living together. Families make possible the super-exploitation of women by training them to look upon their work outside the home as peripheral to their 'true' role. ... No woman should have to deny herself any opportunities because of her special responsibilities to her children. ... Families will be finally destroyed only when a revolutionary social and economic organization permits people's needs for love and security to be met in ways that do not impose divisions of labor, or any external roles, at all." - Functions of the Family, Linda Gordon, in WOMEN: A Journal of Liberation, Fall, 1969.It was the Feminist movement which urged that women should be free to sexually experiment, setting the stage for wholesale defection from marriage, family and emotional depth (3). It was the feminist movement that beat the drum of masculine aggression and that all men/boys are potential rapists, batterers, and pedophiles; while girls were alleged to be suffering vast injuries to their self-esteem in schoolrooms (8). Female sexuality and "choice" have been placed upon a Feminist pedestal that has superseded the valuation of the gift of life (9). The incessant Feminist mantra of violence against women (a bald-faced lie) has made every woman a victim; whose most reprehensible acts are attributable to some forgivable deep-seated response to historical patriarchal repression (11). It should be a constant embarrassment to the Feminist establishment that their "liberated" cohort has displaced fundamental needs from family and husband to quality-child-care, Uncle Sugar, and the child-support Gestapo - but it is not (12).
"Indeed, survey after survey shows most women would prefer to spend more time with their young children. The scandal of feminism, of course, is that most women know that they are not entirely autonomous economic actors, and that they have natural impulses and familial responsibilities that can't be blithely ignored.
While Narcissism seeks to kill the G-d of our forebearers, Hysterical Feminism seeks to kill the cultural traditions of millenia. Both are goals that rival Genesis, and yet both are succeeding. From clinical experience I have learned, never underestimate the power and determination of pathology. Remember Faust.
"We are all cultural relativists now. We are just individuals who do what we want, whatever it may be. We can "justify" anything we will, just because we "will" it. It is reality that is wrong when it does not conform to what we want. Our relativism is so absolute that we can hardly recognize our neighbor as belonging to the same level of being that we do. Indeed, we deny the very idea of "levels of being." We see little difference between human "rights" and plant or animal "rights"; both are merely "will-rights." According to our new and modern principles, moreover, our neighbor can, by "right," choose and do the most lethal or outlandish things and not be called at all "abnormal." The only thing to be said about abnormality is that it is "normal."In this diagnostic exercise, I freely admit to offering a reasoned and critical "judgment". In the face of our cultural dilemma, it is vital that we exercise critical thinking and begin to refute the psychological terrorism that is radical Feminism. Two forms of rapprochement to this terrorism are currently in vogue. One is the male who is primarily concerned with maintaining their power base, and will therefore listen to and acknowledge the hysterical Feminist claims of male domination that have been repeatedly refuted. The second is the naive male who still pursues the role of knight in shining armor - riding to the rescue of the female "victim" - as if it were as yet viable.
These two approaches are both culture killers.
The first merely feeds the beast and ratifies egosyntonic claims, rather than exposing them as troubling symptoms. At least in my lifetime I have never seen men and women in such a defensive posture with one another. On the one hand, too many contemporary women regard men as potential threat to their person. Intimate relationships are precluded by this mindset. Politicians and celebrities who pander to this pathology must be removed from office or boycotted. Above all they must be removed from power by any and all available means short of physical harm or illegal acts.
The second must be redirected to more constructive ends. The message to all would-be rescuers in a victim culture must be "caution." The would-be rescuer is the most vulnerable because a victim is never "rescued", they are only maintained. At the very moment a rescuer suspends the rescue mission they become a persecutor in the mind of the victim. Their role is to constantly listen to repetitious complaints, defend against accusations, and accept the victim's predisposition to blame others for all of their problems. This defensive posture is both exhausting and futile for the demands will only escalate and become more bizarre until finally the rescuer admits defeat and accepts persecutor status.
Here are some steps that must be taken if the culture is to survive:
With contributions from Douglas Heckman, MA, MFCC
Footnotes: (1.)Personality Disorder Defined: (DSM 3-4)
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