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Homosexual Episcopal Bishop-Elect says he believes patriarchy is ending in the church

"This is one of the hardest things I'll ever do," the Rev. V. Gene Robinson told about 40 people during religious education hour at Grace Church. "I do have this sense I'm supposed to go forward, and I do feel that's coming from God and not my own ego. But I don't know."

Robinson was elected by New Hampshire clergy and parishioners in June and confirmed by the national Episcopal Church in August. He is scheduled to be consecrated as bishop of New Hampshire in two weeks.

The election and confirmation of Robinson outraged some conservatives, who threatened to divide the Episcopal Church in the United States and the worldwide Anglican Communion of which it is part.

At an emergency meeting in London last week, Anglican leaders warned that if Robinson is consecrated Nov. 2, "the future of the communion itself will be put in jeopardy." However, the Anglican Communion's spiritual leader, the Archbishop of Canterbury, has no authority to discipline the self-governing national churches.

Conservative Episcopalians at the meeting said they plan to form an independent network of churches opposed to Robinson's elevation and to the national church's recent acceptance of its priests blessing same-sex unions. The announcement came a week after a meeting of 2,700 dissident Episcopalians in Dallas.

Robinson, who was accompanied by a police officer Sunday, remains optimistic about the future of the church, saying it has weathered similar crises in the past.

Much of the Anglican Communion still does not recognize the ordination of women, he said, and yet the Communion holds together.

Asked by one parishioner to explain what's behind the anger over his election, Robinson said he believes it's a sign that patriarchy is ending in the church as women, people of color and gays and lesbians are more fully included.

The election of a gay man as bishop is a "threat to the way things have been done, when white men have pretty much been in charge of everything," he said.

Anglican leaders, representing 77 million members worldwide, have called homosexuality "contrary to Scripture." Robinson and his supporters say that is outweighed by the Scripture's call for love and acceptance of all.

During his conversation with parishioners, Paul Apple of Mont Vernon asked Robinson to consider stepping aside in the interests of preserving the larger church.

"I personally think it's not worth losing the family," Apple said.

Robinson responded that he struggles with that issue as well, but he said, "If I step down, do you really think other qualified gays and lesbians wouldn't be elected?"

"I don't want anyone to leave the church," he said, "and I don't like being thought of as the reason they leave the church."

Robinson, 56, is widely known and admired in the state, where he has been assistant to the retiring bishop for years. He has lived openly for years with partner Mark Andrew, who was applauded by the congregation when he was introduced on Sunday.

Even if he were to bow out, Robinson said, the vigorous and sometimes bitter church debate over homosexuality would continue.

"It's not all going to go back to being nice and pretty again. It's going to be messy for a while," he said. He added: "This is not our church to win or lose. It's God's church."

Robinson predicted the church ultimately will survive the turmoil.

"I've been here an hour and look! The roof's still on. I think it will calm down when people see not a lot has changed," he said.

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