This is what a great father is and does

By Nancy Elwell

June 20, 1999

Most greeting cards don’t do him justice . Sure, he may be a fisherman or a golfer. And he has been known to give his older children good advice: “Get a job,” as one card suggested he has said.

   But he also may be a sports trainer, science project consultant, tall tale spinner, recreation specialist and chauffeur. And a groundskeeper, painter, handyman, financial planner, accounts payable manager/clerk and barbecue chef ... in addition to his day job.

   Even all that doesn’t quite describe everything a great dad is and does.

   But today is Father’s Day, so somebody ought to try. Here’s one tribute to Dear Old Dad:

   He is a man of his word. He says what he means, and he means what he says. This dad teaches his children to be truthful and to keep promises made. To have integrity. To understand that commitment and loyalty are not just words. They are a way of life.

   He is an overgrown kid. He has never outgrown playing and just being silly. He roughhouses, he tickles. He quacks like a duck for no apparent reason. This dad truly enjoys kid games and fun, and his kids love him for it.

   He’s a man of steel. Not necessarily abs or buns, but where it counts — nerves of steel. From the hospital delivery room to the first driving lesson. This dad is exactly what God ordered in light of the recent Michigan law requiring direct parental supervision of their teen-aged drivers for the first 30 hours.

   He is a man of faith. He recognizes that someday his children will make up their own minds about God, but the right time is not when they’re little. This dad believes you “train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). His faith is strong, just as theirs will be someday. Most likely about the time THEY have kids.

   He is a man of knowledge. He appreciates good books, and he values education. This dad gives his children a head start on learning by reading to them early and often. He makes it fun, offering the lifelong gift of reading for sheer pleasure.

   He knows how to keep his cool, also when to lose it, but only for effect. Lessons in anger management come easily to this dad ... and to his kids. He is living proof that self-control is possible, despite all that testosterone.

   He respects others, and they respect him. This dad shows his children how to treat others fairly. How to be civil and considerate.

   Of course he is stubborn and judgmental. But only when it counts, when his core beliefs and values are disparaged. This dad teaches his children the difference between right and wrong, and to stand up for what you believe. That tolerance for all things is intolerance for high standards.

   He is a man who gives of himself, his time and financial support to help others. This dad, when asked why he does it, responds simply: “Because I can.” He teaches his children compassion.

   He is a man who won’t think this essay is for him. He knows his shortcomings. He regrets the mistakes he has made. This dad teaches humility, and that nobody is perfect. Then he resolves to do better, teaching persistence and devotion.

   He is the good family man. It’s what he is, what he does.

   He is the reason we celebrate. ... Happy Father’s Day.

Nancy Elwell is a Muskegon free-lance writer. Write letters to The Detroit News, Editorial Page, 615 W. Lafayette, Detroit, Mich. 48226, or fax us at (313) 222-6417, or send an e-mail to letters@detnews.com

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