Dads Against the Divorce IndustryDA*DI is devoted to reinstating the societal valuation of Marriage and the traditional, nuclear American Family, with particular emphasis on the essential role of FATHERS. DA*DI offers contemporary reports and commentary on culture; its aberrations and its heroes. |
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by Cathy Young
THE LEGAL BATTLE OF GERALD MISCOVICH, the Berks County man who
wants to stop paying support for a child he didn't father, is just
one in a series of recent cases that raise hard questions about
fatherhood and men's reproductive rights in this age of gender
equality and technological progress.
These cases make it clear that we will never have true
reproductive equality until the law treats both men and women more
fairly. That means, among other things, revisiting our notions of a
man's reproductive obligations and rights.
Miscovich's ex-wife, Elizabeth, got pregnant soon after they
married. In 1989, when the boy was 2, she left her husband, and they
reached an agreement on child support and visitation. Two years
later, a DNA test showed Miscovich was not the father. But he is
still forced to pay child support. Under Pennsylvania law, dating to
the 16th century, a child born to a married woman is her husband's
child, tests or no tests.
Now, Miscovich is challenging this principle before the U.S.
Supreme Court. Will he have any luck?
In 1989, the high court upheld a similar California law in a very
different case - in which the plaintiff wanted to be a dad.
Michael Hirschensohn fathered a child in a long-term relationship
with a woman who was legally married but separated; when she
eventually went back to her husband, Hirschensohn was barred from
seeing his daughter. The courts rejected his lawsuit, despite his
bond with the girl and DNA test results, on the grounds of "the
state's interest in preserving the integrity of the matrimonial
family."
Whether they assert the right to be parents or not to be parents,
men aren't getting much sympathy. Biological fathers who challenge
adoptions are often reviled for seeking to rip the child from a
loving family after failing to take paternal responsibility. Men
seeking relief from paternal obligations are seen as selfish cads.
Men who don't want to be fathers are told they should have exercised
their choice (through contraception, sterilization, or abstinence)
before they had sex.
Ironically, these are precisely the arguments pro-lifers make
about women.
When directed at women, "You play, you pay" is widely seen as
callous and punitive; when directed at men, it's widely accepted.
Even many abortion foes make an exception for victims of child
abuse or rape. Men aren't allowed even these excuses. If a woman
seduces an underage boy and has a baby, the boy, legally a victim of
statutory rape, is still liable for child support. In a bizarre
Alabama case, a woman deliberately got pregnant by having sex with a
male acquaintance who had passed out after drinking; she later
bragged to friends that it saved her a trip to the sperm bank. The
courts ordered him to pay up.
And then there's Miscovich, who not only didn't intend to father
a child - he says he was "paranoid" about birth control - but didn't
father one. The point isn't that he has no genetic link to the boy
(neither do adoptive parents); it's that he is a victim of a painful
betrayal compounded by the legal system.
One could argue that in these disputes, the fathers' claims
conflict with children's needs - for economic support or, in the
case of disenfranchised biological fathers, for a stable family. But
surely fairness to the man counts for something, too. (Why, for
example, does Miscovich have more of an obligation to provide for
his ex-wife's child than her current husband?)
And there are other issues at stake. If we want to promote
responsible fatherhood, which is ultimately in the best interest of
children, is it wise to tell men that their rights as fathers can be
arbitrarily denied? Is it wise to give women incentives to engage in
reproductive fraud and produce children who may get the money but
won't have a father's love?
For years, the biology of reproduction placed an unequal burden
on women. Today, technological and social progress has given women
control over their fertility, and in many ways, it's men who are at
a disadvantage.
They are less able to escape the consequences of sex; their bond
with their children is fragile. We hear a lot about irresponsible
fathers who abandon women and children. But in many cases, it's
irresponsible or egotistic mothers who victimize men and children,
and they are equally blameworthy.
No social or legal change can bring about true reproductive
equality as long as only a man can become a parent without his
knowledge. If we want fathers to respect the father-child bond,
society - and women - must respect it as well. |
Dads Against the Divorce Industry