DADI.org

Daniel B. Wood
Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor

LOS ANGELES, December 4, 1999

In just one generation, attitudes toward marriage and family have shifted so dramatically that the very fabric of society has been inexorably altered - leaving pundits and ordinary Americans alike struggling to ascertain whether the changes are progressive or destructive.

To be sure, marriage retains a high regard among Americans: More than 90 percent say it is a highly desirable goal. But with more people delaying matrimony, divorcing, or avoiding wedlock altogether, its standing as "the norm" has slipped.

The change holds major implications, especially for the composition of American families. Only 1 in 4 households now contain married couples with children, down from 45 percent in 1972 - a transformation that affects everything from child-rearing to government policies aimed at families.

Liberals and conservatives offer different explanations for the sea change in views on marriage and family.

"There is truth to both sides, but the issue that is getting squeezed out of the middle is, 'What do we value?' " says David Blankenhorn of the Institute for American Values, a think tank that is collaborating with scholars to study the transformation.

Two studies released in the past month give a new urgency to their work. First, the US Census released figures showing that, for the first time, the majority of women becoming pregnant with or giving birth to their first child are unmarried. Then, last week a survey by the University of Chicago's National Opinion Research Center (NORC) found just one-quarter of US households are made up of married couples with children, down from 45 percent in the 1970s.

Trends that took off in the 1960s - such as sexual permissiveness, the large-scale movement of women into the workplace, and the liberalization of divorce laws - are often cited as reasons fewer Americans now fall under the heading of "married with children." Some of the statistical shift, of course, is explained by demographics: As people live longer, they are more likely to be widowed.

The transformation, say observers in fields from sociology to law, has led to a deep schism between those who welcome it and those who lament an erosion of traditional values. But a growing number of people on both sides say the issue simply must be addressed with new laws and other mechanisms that reflect, or stall, such change. Such an examination would affect social policies from flex-time to day care, from welfare to subsidized housing.

At the core of the issue, agree social scientists, are shifting values. Many say the figures warn of a societal weakening of norms connecting marriage with childbearing. They spotlight a loosening of familial stability for children, which decades of research shows is heavily dependent on the steady presence of a father and mother.

"I am astonished by these findings and find nothing but bad omens for children," says David Popenoe, a sociologist at Rutgers University in New Jersey and co-director of the National Marriage Project. "Decades of social research clearly show that the risk factors for children from nonintact families is on the order of two to three times as high in anything you can name - from dropping out of school ... to entering a bad marriage of their own."

The forces that contribute to greater societal acceptance of out-of-wedlock births, divorce, and single parenting, are many - and they tend to feed on one another, sociologists say.

Young people contemplating marriage, for instance, may themselves be the product of a divorced family and, therefore, be more wary of tying the knot.

Laws that made divorce easier, which came into vogue in the late 1960s, have made the experience less harrowing for many couples. The stigma once attached to divorce has also faded.

Better employment opportunities for women have also paved the way for them to leave bad or tepid marriages - whereas previous generations of women with few job options would have stayed in such unions.

"We are now living out the consequences of the liberalization of attitudes that started with more open sexuality in the 1960s," says Phyllis Cohen of the Canoga Park, Calif., chapter of Parents Without Partners, which counsels single parents. "It's hard to go back to something so strict ... when the prevailing view is relaxed on all these things."

Others hasten to add that some of the statistics can be misleading. For instance, while 18.3 percent of children live with single parents, a much higher rate than in 1972, the figure is has dropped since 1985, when it was 25 percent.

Statistical quibbling aside, many observers say the numbers point to a need to educate the next generation about the meaning and importance of marriage.

Maggie Gallagher, author of a recent report called "The Age of Unwed Mothers," sees a new willingness among young people to separate parenthood from marriage, magnifying a more subtle attitude shift in the larger society.