Dads, Moms, and Kids

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Dads, Moms, and Kids

Thoughts on
Television ...

The Intellectualization Of Parenting

"Beginning some forty years ago, so-called "helping" professionals began encouraging parents to approach the rearing of children as if it were an intellectual challenge, rather than a relatively simple matter of common sense. ... There is nothing inherently difficult, but there must be something in our American approach (post-war) to child rearing that creates the illusion of difficulty. That something, I submit, is an overload of intellect and a corresponding paucity of common sense."
John Rosemond, "Because I said so!"

BECAUSE I SAID SO !

    "In the real world, there is no possibility of a truly democratic relationship between parents and children. Not, at least, as long as the children in question live at home and rely on parents for emotional, social, and economic protections. Until a child leaves home, there can only be exercises in democracy, and these exercises must be carefully orchestrated by the child's parents, lest they get out of hand.
    If we're going to draw analogies between families and political systems, then the most ideal form of family government - the one that works best for both parents and children - is a "benevolent dictatorship." The word dictatorship, I realize, has a negative flavor to it, but keep in mind that it is preceeded by the word benevolent, meaning that the parents in question are lovingly authoritative as well as authoritatively loving. Besides, the root word of dictatorship is dictate, which means 'to instruct with authority'. "
    Because their advice has been shaped more by the books they have read than by real-life experience, "helping" professionals have created a child-rearing jargon that is difficult to understand, imprecise, and confusing. For all of these reasons, it has not been reassuring. So now, "American parents ... who have consumed this advice, have become the most insecure, anxious, indecisive, guilt-ridden bunch of parents ever to inhabit any culture on earth at any time in history."
    The successful rearing of a child is a matter of three simple rules, or understandings ... implemented around the time of the terrible twos:

The First Rule (from parent to child): "From this point on in our relationship, child of mine, you will pay much more attention to me than I will ever again, as a general rule, give to you."

The Second Rule: "You will do as I say."

The Third Rule: "You will do what I say not because of bribe, brutality, threat, or persuasive explanation. You will do as I say because I say so. Period."
. . . John Rosemond in "Because I said so!" , 1996

ABOUT DADS

In the words of syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker: "Fatherhood seems to have become lost in the cultural shuffle we call 'these days.' Everywhere we look, fathers are diminished. They're deadbeats, wife beaters, child molesters. They're fungible, dispensable, inconsequential.
Even the 'experts' tell us that dads aren't that important to children's development, that the consequences of absent fathers have been overstated. Such that here in America - where, incidentally, civilized society is crumbling - people don't even question the need for fathers anymore. Women get pregnant, have babies and raise children by themselves all the time."

So what do Dads actually do ...

ABOUT MOMS

    Again, In the words of syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker: "... my grandmother was the most righteous woman ever to roam God's earth.
    But ... she submitted to no one but God. Not to temptation, not to social pressures and not to that dear man she stayed married to through the Great Depression, family tragedies and a laundry list of conflicts that would send today's staunchest Baptist scurrying to divorce court.
    Berfoo ruled. Graciously.
    None of this woman submit to thy man business. If anybody submitted to anybody, John B. submitted to Berfoo. Any fool could see that.
    He farmed, brought home the bacon, literally. She raised children, prepared meals and ran the roost. When John B. misbehaved, Berfoo chased him around the dining room with her knife and fork, much to the delight of us kids. Otherwise, she ruled with the gentleness of her inscrutable spirit.
    No one ever would have thought to tell her that she had to submit to her husband in order to make things work. Of course, no one needed to tell either of them to behave one way or another. As in the best marriages, John B. and Berfoo submitted to one another.
    Life was too hard to do otherwise. They didn't have time to bicker over pettiness. There was work to be done, mouths to feed. Divorce was unfathomable. God was pre-eminent.
    Graciously, I submit: If it worked for the most righteous woman on earth, it works for me."

So what do Moms actually do ...

ABOUT KIDS

American adults are convinced that today's teen-agers face a crisis of character that only a crash course in morals and values can solve, a major study released last year says.
. . . . "Most Americans look at today's teen-agers with misgiving and trepidation, viewing them as undisciplined, disrespectful and unfriendly," says a Public Agenda study called "Kids These Days: What Americans Really Think About the Next Generation."
. . . . In fact, only 37 percent of the 2,000 adults and 32 percent of the 600 teens polled said they believed that the next generation would "help make this country a better place," the New York-based research group said.
. . . . The crux of the problem is the failure of parents, schools and society to teach morals and values to children, a majority of adults said in the study, which was conducted in December for Ronald McDonald House Charities and the Advertising Council.
. . . . Solutions, it said, were to give more support to parents, teach values in school and create more after-care activities.
. . . .

So what to do about kids ...