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What is PAS?

Posted by admin on 27th April 2006

PAS is the abbreviation for Parental Alienation Syndrome. What causes this, is in essence, is when one parent keeps the children away from the other parent. This is normally done by the mother because in most cases the mother has custody of the children because she was the major caretaker of the children. For her own reasons such as hatred for her ex-spouse, or just plain indifference she decides to keep the children away from their father and any of his relatives including his parents. The mothers tend to do this to gain or retain the custody of their children without any involvement of the father. This can also be the other way around and the father may have custody and does not wish any interference from the mother or any members of her family.

What happens is that the children begin to reject their father or mother because of this alienation caused by the other parent. They will even state that this is their wishes and that their parent does not have anything to do with the way in which they feel. The parent may even state that they desire a relationship between their children and the parent that they are keeping the children away from.

What is going on behind the scenes is a kind of brainwashing and many tactics are used to get the children to agree with the parent’s decision to not allow visitation between them and the other parent, and family and friends of the other parent. The children may hear things like, if you see them they will take you away and I will never see you again; the other parent does not really love you and want to spend time with you; and the parent will often praise their children for this deception. They may also be afraid to tell the truth because of what the parent has said could happen if they tell the truth. So, these children begin to state their new truth as “I hate my father or mother which ever is the one being alienated, and I do not want to see them or be around them.” What ever the reasons the children begin to believe they do not want to see the other parent and the brainwashing has now worked.

This is now being seen more and more often in child custody cases since the enactment of the Children Act of 1989, because more weight was put on the wishes of the children, so parents are using this to brainwash their children. Children as young as two years of age have told the judge they did not wish to see their father. This is why many courts are now not listening to the wishes of children that are not of a sufficient age or intelligence to decide which parent they wish to live with.

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