Archive for the 'Marriage' Category

Covenant Marriage

Posted by admin on 27th April 2006

You may here the term covenant marriage and think it is some new fangled way of getting married, but to be honest covenant marriage has been around since before the birth of Christ. To explain just a bit before going into the legal covenant marriages let’s look at what a covenant really is. If you are a Christian then you understand exactly what a covenant is and just how important it is to stand in your covenant that you made with God. A covenant is similar to a pledge, but it is more than just a pledge it is a promise before God that you will keep your word.

A covenant marriage is what God intended from the beginning, a man and woman pledging their life and their love to one another with God at the center of their life and their marriage. Through time, man changed the laws and came up with such things as the no-fault divorce. This was in no way a part of God’s plan.

In today’s society, covenant marriages are becoming more popular and have been put into law in three states in the United States. These covenant marriages may not be exactly what God intended, but they are much closer to the bond of matrimony and to each other than the regular marriage that can be ended without much trouble at all.

A covenant marriage is really a return to the marriage law that was prior to the no-fault divorce. In a covenant marriage one spouse must prove that the other spouse is guilty of adultery or abuse or there is a total breakdown in the marriage which can be shown after a certain amount of marital separation. Other features of a covenant marriage include pre-martial counseling and even pre-separation counseling.

Louisiana began offering covenant marriages in 1997 and their law requires couple must complete a statement of intent, recite a declaration, and prove that they have gone through pre-marital counseling. In Arizona and Arkansas, the covenant marriage so requires that the couple sign a declaration stating they regard their marriage as a lifelong relationship among other commitments to one another.

With a covenant marriage, divorce is very hard to achieve unless you can prove that your spouse has committed adultery or has been imprisoned for a felony or “other infamous crime,” or committed sexual or physical abuse on either their spouse or child. Most of the time there will be a period of separation when a couple wants to get a divorce in which they will seek counseling, if they so seek a divorce on grounds other than those covered under the law for divorce in covenant marriages.

Covenant Marriages are a stronger bond in which the couple pledge their life and their love to one another with the understanding that their marriage is for life.

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Can You Save Your Marriage?

Posted by admin on 27th April 2006

There is always a chance you can save your marriage. Every marriage has problems. There is no such a thing as the perfect marriage or people who don’t have problems in their marriages.

Both of you have to work together and want to work together. Communication is the key. Learn to talk to each other and open up. Together you need to identify the problem and agree to work on it. No matter what the problems are in your marriage, there is always a chance to fix them if the both of you have the desire to overcome them. It is important to communicate a lot in your marriage so at least the problems are out on the table. Both of you should pick a time and a day just to go over what’s on the table. Respect on another’s opinions and ideas about your relationship. If you have children, make sure they will not be in the house while you’re talking with your husband or wife about your marriage. Do this so they cannot hear the both of you talking. They will assume bad things are going with their parents and assume the worst.

There are a lot of marriage counselors out there for you if you think you need to have some one as a mediator. Choose one that you like and see if you like their style, each one of them is different even in their approach. It is also important that you feel comfortable with them. If you do not that believe this is the right counselor for you, feel free to look around for more of them. The both of you need to open up when you are at the counselor’s office and should be respectful of one another’s discussions. Do not argue while you’re there because it will make things harder on you and the progress of your relationship. Overall be honest!

If you have children let them know that mom and dad are working out some problems. Answer their questions if they have any. Children can sense when things are not OK and they will wonder what is happening which can also add to your already stressful marriage.

Talk to your friends and family. Chances are they have been or are going through some of the same things you are. Friends and family can make you feel like you’re not the only one with problems hurting your marriage. But, never give out information that is personal about your spouse that may lead to gossip in the family or other places.

Most of all let your husband or wife know that you do care about them and their feelings. And remember, a soft and gentle “I love you”, does a lot even when things are not perfect in your marriage.

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