DADI Blog

Symptoms of PAS

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

Everyone in a divorce situation does have feelings that can be associated with PAS, but that does not mean that you are actually alienating your ex-spouse from your children. Learn to recognize the symptoms in yourself and in the parents.

The symptoms of PAS are:

* Allowing the children to decide if they wish to visit with the other parent. This can cause the children to believe that the other parent does not wish to see them.

* Explaining to the children all the aspects of the divorce. Many parents fall into this trap by saying they want to be honest with their children. The motive behind this action is to have the children thinking less of the other parent because it is their fault the divorce happened.

* Refusing to allow the children to bring along special items with them to the other parents home, such as a favorite teddy bear to sleep with, a favorite video game or other personal items.

* Not allowing the other parent information regarding medical records, school records, plays they may be a part of, or any other function that involves the children.

* One parent blaming the other for the divorce, financial problems, or anything else that affects the children’s lifestyle.

* Not being flexible in the visitation schedule and even allowing the children to be over-extended in activities, so they do not have the time to visit the other parent.

* Believing that if the other parent abused you, they will abuse the children.

* Asking the children which parent they would rather stay with, which home is better, who is more fun etc…; this should never be discussed with the children unless they ask to live with a certain parent.

* Children will be angry over the divorce, this is very normal, but when the anger remains and the children show signs of not forgiving, parental alienation may be your answer. If any one of the children makes statements in which they say they can not remember anything they like about you or any fun times you had together, then you had better beware.

* If any of the children can not give a reason for being angry with a parent or their reasons sound rehearsed.

* When one parent begins to have secrets or using certain words that mean other things when talking with the children.

* Using one or more of the children as a spy to learn what goes on while they are visiting.

* Listening in on the telephone conversations with the other parent.

These are just a few of the major symptoms of PAS. The main goal is to turn the children away from the
other parent and literally have them hating the other parent and not wishing to see them at all.

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