DADI Blog

Should You End Your Relationship?

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

When you ask yourself if you should end your current relationship, clearly there is something wrong with the relationship. You have to ask yourself whether or not you can and are willing to work through it. You should first realize that difficult times in a relationship take a lot of hard work and communication. It also takes tons of patients and understanding.

If you decide that the person you are seeing is just not “the one”, you should explain to them why you no longer want to be in a relationship with them. Don’t get angry with them when they become upset because they will get upset. It is important to tell them that they are a great person and you enjoyed your time together. Be sure not to lead them to believe they are a bad person or not worthy of you. Give them time to get their things together and leave. Don’t force them out. And if they would want to talk, let them talk.
Give yourself time to recover from the relationship and think about what kind of person you really want.

If the person you are seeing is “mean” to you. You should leave immediately. Never be involved in a relationship where someone controls who you see and what you do. That is not fair to you. Abusive relationships are characterized by extreme jealousy, emotional withholding, and lack of intimacy, raging, sexual coercion, infidelity, verbal abuse, threats, lies, broken promises, physical violence, power plays and control games. If you are in a relationship where he or she physically hurts you or controls you, you are not in a safe relationship.

You have the right to feel safe and not be abused. If they try to prevent you from leaving, call the police immediately.  It can get out of control and you could be seriously hurt or killed.  There are a lot of resources out there that can help you. There are safe houses for men and women who have been through an abusive relationship. If you were to call the police they would help you get to where you will be safe.

Before you decide on ending your relationship, talk with your spouse and see if they are willing to seek counseling with you. Do not make them feel that they are the problem, but that there are problems in the marriage and you desire to work through the problems because you love and care for you spouse. Then if counseling fails, divorce is apparent.

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