DADI Blog

Releasing Negativity

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

It can be very hard to release negative feelings about yourself or your ex-spouse during the divorce and even after the divorce. Releasing negativity is an important part in your healing process. Any time you have any type of emotions about a certain person you are still connected to them. In a divorce situation, you had all times of emotions at once and now you are combating them one at a time, but releasing negativity may be the hardest one yet to overcome. However, as long as you have these thoughts and feelings you are still going to be tied to that person and to the past events.

The very first thing you should do is to accept these emotions. You were hurt during your divorce and you will have negativity thoughts and emotions when you think about everything that happened, as least during the first few months after the divorce is final. However, you do not want to carry these emotions with you for years to come like an anchor around your neck.

Releasing negativity toward yourself or your ex-spouse is not going to be easy. You may be reminded of these feelings more than once over the next few months and questions will unfold that can bring back negative thoughts such as How could I been fooled for so long, why are they such liars, and so on and so forth. However, when you allow these emotions to be the center of your day, you are allowing these negative thoughts and feelings to control you. As you begin to allow these negative feelings about yourself, mount you will begin to blame, the person that ended the divorce and have even more negative feelings to control.

What you must do now is to quit laying blame. Divorce happens to many people and it is normally no ones fault. The marriage is over and that is that. Do not blame your self or your ex-spouse. Next, write down all the things that cause your negative thoughts and feelings. Try to think of a different way to put these items instead of in a negative way. Try to re-write the thoughts in a different way instead of a negative way that brings back the pain, but still do not change the event into lies.

Next, you must forgive and get on with your life; this does not mean that what they did was okay. However, now you can at least think of them without wishing you could strangle them. Forgiving is for your sanity than theirs. Especially if you have children to consider you must be able to accept this person is going to be around and you do not want those negative feelings weighing you down. Releasing negativity can be done, just get your faith back in yourself and be strong.

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