DADI Blog

Preplanning Divorce Strategies

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

When you marry the one you love, you don’t expect that person to change into someone you didn’t marry. Statistics sadly show that it happens. Today, four out of ten marriages fail. Every aspect of your life is tampered by divorce. But it’s important to remember that it is not the end of your life. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

There are also ways to help you better cope with divorce. Here are some of the ways you can prepare for the journey ahead.

If you have children with your spouse, they should be told that mom and dad are not going to be together anymore. Be sure to tell them that it’s not their fault. Children always believe that it is their fault when things go wrong Explain that mom and dad have issues that will result in separation. Be sure that they still see both their parents after the divorce is complete. Be there for them and answer the questions they have. NEVER argue are fight in front of your children. Children do not understand and they will get scared. Most important, let your children know that dad and mom love them very much.

Prepare yourself. Surround yourself with people whom you love and trust it is important that you have someone to talk to. Counselors are very helpful and you can trust and talk to them. There are special counselors for divorce. It is important that you are able to vent and not let things build up inside you. If you have a church you go to, turn to your church for guidance. Children can also benefit from counselors. There are counselors that are just for children in the event of a divorce.

Keep the arguing in your house to a minimum. Arguing can make things worse and even escalate into violence. If your spouse begins to argue with you, it is OK to tell them you don’t want to talk right now and if they insist leave the room. If physical violence is a factor, you should leave your house and call the police. It is never OK to hit your spouse. It is never OK for your spouse to hit you. Nothing good can ever come from physical violence. If there is a physical violence problem that exists, you should stay with your friends, family or even a shelter if you have no one to turn to.

All in all, realize that it is not the end of your life and you can find happiness again. Just take care of yourself and do what you think is the right thing. Do what is best for you and your children as well.

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