DADI Blog

Personality of Alienators

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

The personality of alienators is more a pattern of behavior that is seen in the parent that has custody than an overall personality trait. Most of the time, you will see and hear that these patterns and traits are explained with the mother being the one that is the alienator, but recently fathers are also being seen as the alienators. The alienator is either parent that wants to show that they are in control with their custodial rights.

Most of the time, the parent believes that you will put up with this behavior because you love your children; they are banking on your love for your children. They do not expect you to just walk away from what ever it is they are doing to alienate you from you children. The alienation process is not what you might expect. They do not just wake up one morning and decide to keep you and children away from one another. This can be a long process which includes many factors.

The personality and pattern usually begins the custodial parent giving you exact time to visit your children. If you are late only a couple of minutes you will pay in some way.
You will be given exact places you can take the children, how long you can be there and other mundane tasks to be sure that you time with the children is still under their control.

You will also get changes at the last minute so you will be unable to visit with your children, such as you take off this Saturday from work so you can have a great day with your children, they know this and use it against you. You will receive a phone call early Saturday morning about 30 minutes before your visitation time and the plans have changed to next Saturday, when you know you can not miss work again. If you try to change the visitation plans they will completely refuse and you will miss your visitation for that week.

On days that you are suppose to see your children; they will give the children other chooses to make, so the children will have to choose a trip to the amusement park or visiting the other parent. This is to show you that the children would rather do other things than spend time with you.

Gifts that you buy for your children will be duplicated by your ex-spouse, so the value of your gift is not what it use to be.
Gifts that you do give will be lost, hidden away or even thrown away.

Even in front of the children you, your family, your friends, your home, and just about anything else will not be good enough and they will find reasons that neither you nor your family should see the children.

Anything that will give the children a reason not to see you will be said and done even to the point of saying that you died.

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