DADI Blog

Make You Remarriage Work

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

After time passes and wounds slowly heal, you look back at the time with your former spouse and the two of you decide to give your romance another go.  Getting past the heartache of the previous marriage is something both partners will have to deal with when the same situations that hurt their previous marriage occur.  The best thing to do to get over these little speed bumps is first by seeking the help of a professional counselor.

If the two of you are able to realize that both of you had issues, then a great step has been taken.  The two of you can then focus on the negatives of the previous relationship together.  Having both partners come to grips with the problems in themselves they can work on compromising or changing with their partner.  If only one of you is taking the blame for the wrong doings in the previous relationship, then the pattern will repeat itself with one person being on the receiving end of the lashings.

One problem you might run into is if your former spouse had an affair or physically abused you or a child.  Since a lot of people sometimes turn to this abuse for their own gratification, in the end you must look at that person again and see if any changes have occurred.  It’s very easy to accept the other person’s word that they have changed, especially if you have just come out of a relationship with that person.  Don’t let the past mistakes get in the way of something new.  Use each lesson from the previous marriage wisely and reflect back on your time with this person.  If both of you do this, it should fix the previous problems.

Just forgetting about your previous relationship with this person can also lead to the biggest downfall for yourself.  Going through the same pain and heartache twice is something no one wants, so look at your situation and the other person.  If neither of you has changed or if only one of you has, then going your separate ways would probably be the best for you both.  Take other people’s advice seriously, as they can easily be the best judges since they are less attached to the situation.  Don’t take another’s advice more seriously than your own though, as in the end only you can judge the entire relationship inside and out.

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