DADI Blog

Learning to Trust after Your Divorce

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

It can be a horrible experience in your life after divorce. You spent so much time and built so much around that person. You’ve worked at your relationship and enjoyed it for so long. You put everything you had into your spouse, trust, devotion, love, and admiration, now all of this gone. How can you ever trust anyone ever again?

It is possible to trust another again as you did your former love. You just have to learn to let go of the pain you have now. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You did get hurt and you have every right in the world to be angry but you have to move on if you want to have another relationship. Not everyone you meet is going to hurt you. You have to let them know you have been hurt before and are not willing to go through it again.

Do you ever find yourself snooping through your new love’s things? If so, you do not trust that person. You may be having a hard time trusting this person, because you last spouse cheated on you and you are looking for signs. If you find anything that could be considered “cheat material” you will immediately act as if this person is also cheating on you. You should not dig through your lover’s things. You have to learn to trust them even though it does not feel possible. Learning to trust means to be open to that person and establishing good communication. Both of you have to be committed to your relationship.

Take a day for just the two of you to do nothing but talk and bond. Spend a day at a park or go see a movie together. Cook a dinner together. Doing all of this establishes good communication and bonding.

When hard times come around it is not entirely a bad thing. You can grow together from the issue. You learn from what you do wrong. Mistakes will be made and it is important to try to learn from them and grow from them.

Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, or a perfect relationship. Everyone has issues no matter what they lead you to believe. Problems are there for you to learn and grow together and you should try to have fun and laugh a lot when you can.

Most of all just try to love each other to the best of your ability.

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