DADI Blog

Is Mediation the Right Choice for You?

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

You are headed for a divorce and you are wondering if divorce mediation is the right choice for you and your spouse. The best way in which to answer this is to look at how your marriage was. Did you and your spouse quarrel all the time or could you compromise and negotiate with proven success?

There are some great reasons to choose mediation over court, you can keep yourself out of the courtroom and you will not have to discuss your personal life in a room full of strangers. You will be able to have more control over the consequences and outcome of your divorce.

The best way to know if mediation is right for you is to ask yourself if you can sit in a room with your soon to be ex-spouse and rationally discuss every aspect of your divorce in a calm manner and come to an agreement.

You will have to decide how all the property will be divided, who will pay which bills, who will have custody of the children, or if you prefer joint custody, who will pay child support, and how that will be accomplished, where will the children live the majority of the time, which parent will be responsible for decisions regarding schooling, medical care, and other major decisions regarding the children and even agreeing on tax issues.

A mediator can listen and give advice, but they may not have knowledge of the laws in your state, so you should understand a bit about how child support and alimony is calculated.

If you feel intimidated by your spouse, then mediation is probably not the way to go. If you have these feelings and thoughts that you are not as worthy as your spouse, you will walk away from this divorce mediation at a loss. You must be willing to speak up for yourself and your children and have the confidence to do so, or mediation will allow your spouse to walk all over you.

If there has been any domestic violence in the home and you are concerned about your own safety or the safety of your children whether it was physical or mental violence then you should not consider mediation. If you have fear of your spouse, you may end up giving them custody of the children and everything else they want. This could be very harmful to the children and you will not be able to do much about it after you have agreed and the divorce is final.

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