DADI Blog

How to Minimize the Effect of Your Divorce on Your Children

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

The best way to minimize the effect of your divorce on your children of course is to have both parents involved as to the children’s scheduling. These can be accomplished if both parents are agreeable and have the children’s best interest at heart. The schedule, that you both must agree on include bedtime, homework, friends, and even what television shows they are allowed to watch. If one parent sets a bedtime of 10pm while the other one has it set for 9pm you are sure to see problems arise. Children need stability and security and when both parents can agree on just some of the basics it will really help the children to understand that both parents are still caring for them in the same manner as before.

The most important thing to remember to help your children is to never under any circumstances, get into disagreements about the children in front of them. Do not think that since they are not in the room that they can not hear. If you do have disagreements and of course you will, it is best to pick a time to discuss these things when the children are at school or over at a friends house.

Children just like adults need to feel loved, appreciated, and need to have self worth. This can be achieved by just a bit of effort on the part of one or preferably both parents. Have your children join different clubs so they can feel good about their accomplishments and be sure that at least one parent is present at their games, practices, or anywhere they need the loving support and admiration of a parent.
Be attentive! You should be able to tell if your child is depressed, showing signs of anger, or if they are becoming reclusive. These are warning signs. Your children will need more attention during this time, so they need to understand that neither parent is leaving them. One parent may live somewhere else but they are only a telephone call away, unless there are reasons that warrant no contact.

Be honest! Be honest with your children. You can answer there questions in an adult manner without bashing your ex-spouse. If they are asking questions about why, the simplest answer is that you both agreed to live separately. Just answer their questions very simply and never go into details that they do not need to know. They are under enough stress by losing a parent.

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