DADI Blog

How to Co-Parent with Your Ex-Spouse

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

You may think this is an impossible feat and it may be according to how well you both communicate and if you have the desire to put your differences aside for the sake of your children. There are a few basic rules that can help you co-parent with your ex-spouse if you are both agreeable as described below.

The very first thing you should remember is that you will not always agree with your ex-spouse when it comes to your children, nor will they agree with you. But, you must agree to not let this disagreements hinder the parenting of both of you. Comprise is always the best solution, as long as the children are not suffering.

To be good co-parents you both must sit down together and plan a parenting schedule so to speak. Remember, if with a schedule things do come up and you both will have to be willing to work together when problems arise. You will need to decide who will take the children to the doctor and schedule the appointments, who does the shopping for school supplies, goes to PTA meetings, and even who will attending the after school activities. These can be shared, so each parent can enjoy seeing their child succeed or being there for them at the doctor. When something happens and you can meet your obligation, contact the other parent immediately. Respect that each of you do have your own life, but that the children do come first.

The number one rule is never argue where the children can hear. And number two is never slam the other parent. Your children love both parents and should. Back stabbing the other parent if they have an emergency or some reason not to attend a function will show disrespect to that parent. You will eventually have your children either disliking you for your harsh words or disliking the other parent because of what you have said. Either way, this can cause problems that you neither one want or deserve.

Your relationship may be through, but you both will be parents for the rest of your life. You need to be involved with your children’s disappointments, achievements and be there for them. When decisions need to be made such as summer camp, disciplinary actions, or other problems, if at all possible you both need to talk about these together. If it is an emergency situation, call the other parent immediately.

Have the same set of rules at both houses. Bedtimes, homework times, dinner times, and even what type of television shows and movies they should watch should be the same. Both parents must stick to these rules.

With these basic rules you can successfully co-parent with your ex-spouse if you both desire to compromise, and love and care for your children.

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