DADI Blog

How to Build Trust and Acceptance with Stepchildren

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

If you are looking for ways to build trust and Acceptance with stepchildren, don’t feel like you are alone as this is a common problem that is faced with so many people today that have married someone who already has children from a previous marriage.

Stepfathers and stepmothers are faced with new challenges trying to get the approval of there step-children. It’s never an easy situation because the children are already hurt and angry along with a lot of other emotions they are dealing with over the breakup of their parents and now a new step parent is entering their life is just the icing on the cake for them. Most of the times you can just expect they will be defensive and treat you like an intruder and a threat to their home and their lives.

So, if you want to gain acceptance with your stepchildren, it’s going to take work and time to open the door into their lives. So, as you endeavor to build the relationship don’t force yourself on them, let the child set the pace for entering into the relationship. Remember you will never replace their biological parents or that bond so it’s best to work toward being a friend but also you want the respect given towards you as a parental figure. If it’s necessary, assure the children you know that you can’t replace the absent parent and you have no desire to, but rather you want to be close friends.

As time passes, living together you will most often find that as the child sees good qualities and your desire to be friends they will most often lower their defensive posture and begin to allow you into their world. As time passes, you can begin to increase your affections and close involvement with the child and you can over a period of time build a solid strong relationship that will even be filled with mutual love and trust.

Here is a key mistake often made by step parents that’s guaranteed to kill any chance of building a relationship with your stepchild which you need to avoid at all cost. When the absent parent comes around to visit or to spend time with the children remember to always be polite and be excited for the child to visit with that parent no matter how you really fell about them. Remember that you would not like anyone to bad mouth your own parents and you can bet your stepchildren feel exactly the same way. It’s never an easy task to enter into a new family but you will find that over time you and your stepchildren can become very close and have a wonderful life together.

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