DADI Blog

Effects of Divorce on Children

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

Even if you do not talk about your divorce in front of your children they will still be affected, there is no way around it.

There reactions will always be different and may not be the same as you would expect, you can not compare your children to other children that have parents that are divorced including any family members that may have recently gone through a divorce. Each child and family is completely different.

How your children handle the divorce takes in a lot of different things such as how much time they get to spend the with parent that is not living in the house with him, why you are divorcing, how each parent adjust to the divorce, how each parent in there separate homes discipline, the love and approval they receive from each parent, the willingness of each parent to talk with them about how they feel about the divorce, the hardship on finances, and even moving, or a new marriage.

Children feel stress in several different ways and you should notice and help your children through the divorce process, not just you but both parents.

The main thing that causes children to feel uneasy or stress is change. Children need routines and some type of scheduling to feel secure. During a divorce many things can change causing them to endure stress. They may have to have different meal times because now mom is now working, they may have to stay at the sitters longer, they may have a whole new routine to get use to. They may have lost friends due to a move or even due to cousins they normally play with are related to the ex-spouse that now lives elsewhere. All of this can be very confusing and stressful on children at any age.

Just as much as change can cause stress upon children so can being away from a parent. Children become attached to loved ones and things that they love and are use to such as their own bedroom, a favorite toy, their dog or cat, and even brothers and sisters, and of course each parent.

Children feel like they have lost one parent and they are very afraid of losing the one they have. They normally blame themselves, do not feel safe and protected, and also fell unloved. Children need that secure feeling that their parent will be there to tuck them into bed, pick them up from school and take care of them.

If there is any arguing and fighting happening in front of the children, this is one big problem for children. They not only feel angry, but this can cause them to feel alone and even guilty.

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