DADI Blog

Dealing with Divorce-Related Anger

Posted by admin on April 27th, 2006

The biggest emotion during a divorce is anger. Both people involved in a divorce have their own reasons for being angry. However, the worst thing anyone can do is to ignore these feelings. Anger that is pushed away or put off to the side will be redirected and may cause you problems later on.

Divorce is a life changing experience. You must begin a new life without the person that you believed you would spend your entire life with. It can be painful and confusing, but you must accept that it is over so you can continue with your life. There are ways you can control or rid yourself of this anger.

Divorce is like a death. You are going to be burying your hopes and dreams of a long and happy life with your spouse. It is fine to have a grieving time. You are losing a part of your life. In addition, anger is a part of grieving whether you know it or not. When someone passes away, anger is seen in questions such as, why did they leave me. These types of questions are the same in a divorce situation. So, allow yourself time to grieve and heal from the loss of your dreams.

When your divorce is final, you will still have reasons to be angry. There will be issues concerning which one of you was granted the home, the children, visitation, and even child support and alimony. All of these things can make you very angry all over again, if you do not learn to come to terms with the reality that it is over and they are no longer a part of your life, except when it comes to the children.

The best way to deal with this anger is to talk it out with a professional. You can talk with your friend and family and all they will do is side with you about how bad you were treated, how the court was against you and who should have gotten what during the divorce. This will not help you learn to control your anger; this will only make the anger grow, when you see that it also makes your family and friends angry. Talk with a professional such as your minister, a counselor, or seek therapy. There are many counselors that can help you rid your life of anger and learn to move ahead even to the point of joint custody.

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